Ruled By Pain Read online

  “Guess I could. But my brothers tend to get mad when I do that.” He leaned in so that our arms were touching. “So, how are you handling all of this? I know it’s got to be rough finding out you’re a Goddess.”

  He had no idea. All I wanted was to go back to my little apartment where my biggest concern was which paint to use or how I was going to get out of going to dinner with my friends. Hades face crossed my mind and I shivered.

  “It’s a lot. I just hope I can go home.”

  He frowned. “Be careful what you wish for.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “The other Persephone wanted to go home, too. So, my eldest brother made it so that she went home for six months each year. But during that time, she couldn’t contact Hades. It was hard on both of them.”

  I replied, “What I mean is I hope I can return to my old life.”

  “What if this is your life?”

  I shook my head. “That seems unlikely. I don’t belong here.”

  “But doesn’t this all feel right? Like being here was meant to be?” He leaned in even more. “If this were your home you would be loved by so many.”

  The way he looked at me made me feel warm all over. I leaned in, too, until we were so close that I could smell the mint on his breath.

  His gaze landed on my lips. “I want to kiss you so badly, but I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  Because I kind of wanted him to kiss me, too.

  “This is my brother’s realm and he is first, above all others. For now.”

  I caressed Hermes’ smooth caramel cheek. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

  He jumped to his feet and I noticed his sandals had little wings that were fluttering on them.

  “By Gods, you are so tempting. More than I ever imagined.” He began to pace in front of me. “I will talk to my brother and get this matter settled.”

  I stood, too, and touched his arm. When I did, it was much like the first time Hades and I saw each other in the diner. A silver string emerged from Hermes’ chest and swirled around until it entered mine. This time I felt safe and loved. Hermes pulled me into his arms and everything felt right. I wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever.

  “What is going on here?”

  I jumped and found Hades standing in front of us, a scowl on his face. The look vanished and was replaced with a calm mask of fury.

  Hermes didn’t let go of me. Instead, he said, “Brother, it seems I need to talk to Vedah before I leave to see if she knows the meaning of this.”

  “Did you bond with her?” Hades’ tone was accusatory.

  Hermes nodded. “I did.”

  “Did it leave you in pain, wanting more?”

  Hermes laughed. “No. It was like sunshine kissed my soul.” He gave me a squeeze. “It’s fitting, since Aubrey is the Goddess of Light.”

  Hades stared at me until I felt the need to unweave myself from Hermes’ arms. When I was free I reached out and touched Hades arm. There was a spark and I jumped.

  “Pain.” He shook his head. “That’s all you will feel with me. Just like before.”

  He spun on his heels and left. I turned to Hermes.

  “What did he mean by that?”

  “He’s always been different than the rest of us.”

  “No, what did he mean when he said, ‘just like before’?”

  Hermes replied, “He’s never known pleasure. Not even with Persephone. It was always pain and agony. For both of them.”

  His words made me shiver.

  “Never fear, light of my life. You will feel pleasure.”

  His words were soothing, and I let him gather me into his arms again.

  “Thank you, Hermes.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “Don’t thank me yet. I brought someone with me and I’m certain you will have to meet him soon.”

  “Who did you bring?”

  “Ares. God of War.”

  5

  HADES

  I wasn’t surprised when I felt Hermes arrive to the Underworld. He came and went as he pleased and never needed an invitation to my realm. He was the only one of my brothers who had that honor. I was, however, shocked when I felt him bond to Aubrey. It was like a punch to the gut knowing my brother had made her feel so protected.

  “Vedah,” I called out.

  She appeared next to me as I sat on my ebony throne in the great room. The fireplace roared behind me, the flames begging to touch my skin just once.

  “You rang?” Her voice echoed through the large room, bouncing off the walls.

  “Did you know?”

  She gave me an innocent look. “Know what?”

  “Don’t fucking play games with me. Did you know she was going to bond with Hermes?”

  “Does it matter?”

  I gave her a look and she sighed.

  “Let me rephrase that. It wouldn’t have changed anything if you had known. And I had no idea whom she would bond with, though I suspected he would be one of them since he’s down here a lot.”

  I froze. “One of them?”

  Vedah’s mouth snapped shut and she vanished like a fucking coward.

  “Vedah, get your ass back in here!”

  “Problems in paradise,” Ares asked as he staggered into the room with a goblet in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

  He reeked of alcohol and I knew this wasn’t his first bottle of the day.

  “What in the fuck are you doing here?”

  Ares never came to my realm. Ever.

  He sat on the steps leading up to my throne and took a sip right from the bottle. When he glanced up to me, my stomach fell. My brother had dark circles under his eyes. The truth hit me.

  “Aphrodite?”

  He nodded once.

  “When?”

  “A few hours ago. Thought I would catch a ride with Hermes and see her one last time.”

  My chest was tight. “Brother-”

  He looked up at me and the sorrow I saw hit me like a ton of bricks.

  “I heard Persephone was gone. I hope you were with her when she passed. I wasn’t with Aphrodite. Her fucking husband wouldn’t let me near her.”

  That bit of news didn’t surprise me. Since the beginning of time Hephaestus had only wanted Aphrodite to love him and be faithful, something she was never able to do. When she began to fade he closed off his palace, not letting anyone inside except for Poseidon.

  I cleared my throat. “Ares, I didn’t get to say goodbye to Persephone. She faded away into nothingness.”

  The goblet fell from his hand and thudded against the stone as red wine spilled down the stairs.

  “Nothingness?” He jumped to his feet. “Then you must take me to the chair. Now.”

  I shook my head. “You know I cannot.”

  The chair of forgetfulness wouldn’t work on immortals. No matter how much we wanted it to. I should know. I would’ve sat on it years ago if I could.

  “Brother, please,” he begged.

  I felt Aubrey before she entered the throne room, Hermes on her heels.

  “Is everything okay?” Her eyes were full of concern as she stared at me.

  I was about to send her away when Ares spun around. I felt it the moment their eyes met – the connection being made. A red string bound them together as Ares sobbed.

  “No! Anything but this!”

  Aubrey’s face paled and she moaned. I was across the room in an instant, lifting her into my arms. Her head leaned heavily against my chest as tears streamed down her face.

  “Stay with him,” I ordered Hermes.

  I carried Aubrey from the throne room and went to her chambers. The changes to the room surprised me. It was bright and warm and out of place for the underworld.

  “I didn’t mean to.” Her voice broke. “He’s in so much pain.”

  I climbed onto her bed, still holding her. Funny. I’d only meant to lay her down and then leave.

  “He lost Aphrodite today.”


  “But you said the Goddesses only faded when their replacements arrived. And that can’t be me, right?”

  I rubbed my head against the top of hers, inhaling her sweet scent. “I don’t know the answer to that, little flower, but I intend on finding out. I think my Oracle knows more than she is saying.”

  And it pissed me off. If she knew more then why didn’t she speak up?

  Aubrey relaxed in my arms and said, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For getting me out of there.”

  “There’s no need to thank me for that. I could see you were in pain.”

  “It wasn’t pain. It was anger and agony.” Her eyes met mine. “You said you only felt pain when we touched. What about now?”

  I didn’t want to tell her that holding her in my arms was agony. That it drove me crazy and made me want to fuck her and strangle her at the same time.

  Instead, I said, “What do you feel when you’re near me?”

  She smiled. “Safe.”

  It was the last thing I expected her to say.

  “That surprises you. Why?”

  I tried to find the right words. “I am not a safe being.”

  “I think you’re wrong.”

  I snorted. “You haven’t known me very long to form such an opinion.”

  “Maybe. But it feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime.”

  Something stirred in my chest and I held her closer. She was right in a way. While we just met our souls had known each other since the beginning of time. That’s why fighting the connection I felt was going to drive me crazy. The universe wanted us to be together and would stop at nothing to make it happen.

  Aubrey gazed up at me, her dark eyes bright. “Can I ask you something?”

  “No promises I’ll answer.”

  Her tongue darted across her pink lips. “Will you kiss me?”

  Lust surged through my stomach like wildfire.

  “Why would you ask for that?”

  “Because ever since I met you it’s been in my mind.” She smiled. “And I didn’t think you’d let me kiss you.”

  I replied, “I will allow it.”

  The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Her eyes lit up and she turned so she was facing me. Her cheeks were flushed, and her pulse pounded at the base of her neck. I wanted to lean forward and bite that spot, but she needed to be the one guiding things right now. I would follow her lead.

  She leaned in. Her tongue darted across her lips and I groaned, wanting to be the one tasting them. She smiled and pressed her mouth against mine, her lips as soft as a whisper. Her lips parted, and she explored my mouth, her tongue dancing with mine. The gentle massage sent currents of desire through me until I pulled her so that she straddled my lap.

  Her fingers fumbled blindly through my hair as I finally kissed her back. I ran my hand under her gown and up her silky leg. She shivered at my touch and whispered something incoherent against my lips. At her hipbone I pressed on the sensitive bit of skin there and she moaned, arching into my touch until the pain became too much for her. She broke the kiss, breathing heavily.

  As much as I hated to admit it, it was the best goddamn kiss I’d ever experienced. Raw energy pumped through my body with each beat of my heart. I could literally move mountains if I wanted.

  “Wow,” she breathed out.

  Hermes cleared his throat as he came into the room. “I’d like a kiss as well.”

  Aubrey glanced at me and I nodded. They were bonded, so it was only a matter of time before they would connect. She crossed the room and kissed him. Energy sparked around them, crackling in the air. His stupid little sandals fluttered, raising him off the floor a bit. I couldn’t help but grin at the ridiculous sight.

  When Aubrey pulled away Hermes sighed.

  “That was better than I imagined.” He looked at me. “Do you feel stronger now? I feel like I’ve been energized.”

  I nodded my head once.

  Aubrey came back to me and said, “I feel the same way. But something is missing.”

  Not something.

  Someone.

  Ares.

  I frowned. Out of all my brothers Ares was the one who was most like me. And, for that fact, we’d butted heads in the past. His wars caused my realm to overflow. His temper had ended with many deaths. And now we were bound to serve, protect, and eventually love the same woman. Yeah, I’m sure nothing would go wrong there.

  I said, “You bonded to three of us. That means you need to connect with each of us.”

  Her eyes widened. “But… isn’t that wrong?”

  Hermes laughed. “Such a mortal thing to say. Not, it’s not wrong. We each love you. “

  I had no doubt that Hermes already loved Aubrey. He’d always dived into everything he did head first. I couldn’t say the same thing, though. Did I feel connected to her? Yes. Love? No.

  He glanced at me and went on, “Or, will come to love you. It is our duty to make sure you’re taken care of in every way possible.”

  Aubrey looked at me and I nodded confirming Hermes’ story. I might not love her, but I would do anything to see her happy. If her soul hurt then mine would, too, and even though I was cursed with pain I wouldn’t wish to see her in such a state. Plus, the prophecy demanded that balance be kept at all costs. So, I had no choice. Yet.

  She said, “I just don’t know…”

  “You liked the dream you had, right?”

  Her cheeks flamed. “You know I did.”

  “You will like what you face in person even more.”

  I could see the wheels turning in her head. I couldn’t help but to lean forward and kiss the tip of her nose.

  “Don’t overthink it, little flower. As my brother said, mortals tend to be narrow minded when it comes to sex. But you’ll see.”

  She smiled shyly. “I think I shall like learning with you.”

  And just like that I was hard.

  Hermes cleared his throat. “We should find Vedah and Ares.”

  He was right. I held out my arm and Aubrey took it like it was the most natural thing in the world. We led the way and Hermes stayed a step behind us. As it should be.

  “I’m sure he’s still in the great room,” Hermes said.

  As the Messenger God, he usually had a fairly good idea where someone was. I led the way to the great room. Mortals mimicked their living rooms after this room, which was laughable. My great room could seat thousands. But at the moment it housed my very drunk brother who now sat on my throne.

  “Ares,” I said, moving my hand to Aubrey’s back.

  He knew he wasn’t allowed on my throne, just as I would never sit on his. Especially with his dirty boots kicked over the arms of the throne.

  “Isn’t that just adorable?” he sneered. “Persephone has been gone less than a day and you’ve already moved on.”

  “Brother, you need to think before you speak.”

  Ares stood and swayed on his feet. “Or what? You’ll end me. Please.”

  The last part came out as a plea.

  Vedah appeared and sighed. “For the love of Gods, put the goblet down, Ares. You’ve had enough.”

  “Go away, witch. I’m not in the mood.”

  Vedah met my gaze and said, “The longer he resists the more it’s going to hurt everyone.”

  He swung around to face her. “What does that mean?”

  Vedah replied, “You need to make a bond with Aubrey that is unbreakable.”

  The room went silent. My brothers and I knew what Vedah meant.

  Aubrey asked, “What is an unbreakable bond?”

  Ares laughed and laughed, until tears ran down his cheeks. Aubrey turned to me, eyes full of questions.

  “It means that you have to fuck us.”

  Shock flashed across her face.

  Hermes cursed. “Way to be crude, you ass.”

  Aubrey stared up at me and I wanted to take back my words. I hadn’t meant them the way they came ou
t, but-

  “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

  This time the room went silent for an entirely different reason.

  6

  AUBREY

  Hades’ eyes flashed. “There’s no need to rush this.”

  It felt good getting the better of him. He’d shocked me with his words and now I’d done the same with mine. Now if I could blink away these tears before they fell then I would be untouchable. But god help me if I cried in front of these men-

  Vedah replied, “That’s where you’re wrong, Hades. The sooner this happens the better.”

  “Better for whom,” he countered.

  She said, “I cannot say.”

  Ares filled his glass and took a swig before saying, “That’s all your kind is good at. Useless answers.”

  She turned her gaze on him. “Careful, War God. You remember what happened the last time you disrespected us, yes?”

  Ares gazed at Vedah over the rim of his cup. I swear it felt like he was trying to murder her with his death glare.

  Hermes leaned in and said to me, “His side lost the Trojan War. Never lived that one down.”

  Ares glared. “Shut up, Hermes. No one asked you.”

  Anger rolled off Ares in waves. It was the same feeling that bound us together. With Hades and Hermes, I could at least understand the bond. But this one? Not so much.

  “I wondered the same thing,” he muttered.

  My eyes widened. “What?”

  “I said I wonder how we bonded.”

  “You can hear my thoughts?”

  He rolled his eyes and pointed. “We all can.”

  I turned to Hades, who nodded.

  “Oh my god, why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  Hermes said, “I find it quite refreshing, to be honest.”

  “Refreshing my ass. It’s annoying as hell.” Ares laughed at his own joke. “No offense, Hades.”

  This was so embarrassing. How much of my thoughts could they hear? And was there a way to turn it off? And – oh my god I’d pictured Hades fucking me – had he seen it, too?

  I rubbed my temples. “I need a drink.”

  “Now we’re talking! Someone get this mortal a drink.”